In an imaginary fantasy world, what would happen if there were no H2O in open bodies of water?

What if the liquid element in the aquatic world were something other than water?

We have some ideas:

If the open water world consisted of chocolate milk, it would be hard to see under the surface, but it would be a sweet activity. If it consisted of a chocolate shake, forward movement would be impossible over time.

If the open water world consisted of beer, swimmers might gain weight and get a little tipsy.

If the open water world consisted of red wine, swimmers might gain a rosy hue to their skin and emerge from their swims smiling.

If the open water world consisted of apple juice, everything would have a yellow tint to it and grannies would take to the sport.

If the open water world consisted of melted chocolate, nearly everyone in the world would be a swimmer and winds would kick up chocolate spray to the delight of escort crews and kayakers.

If the open water world consisted of carbonated soda, buoyancy would not be an issue, but cavities would be.

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