
If Open Water Swimming Was Political

If Open Water Swimming Was Political
Courtesy of WOWSA, Huntington Beach, California.Tip O’Neill, the long-time powerful Speaker of the House of the U.S. Congress once said, “All politics are local.” We believe all open water swimming can also be defined as local.
But if open water swimming had its own political parties, we wondered what the policies, positions and people would be like in those imaginary parties.
This is our guess of what we would see (at least in America):

The mass starts would be segregated with the slower swimmers going first and the fastest swimmers last, with the winner being the first person to cross the finish line, not the individuals with the fastest times.
Although there would be a mass start, there would definitely be many different divisions to accommodate everyone of different ages, backgrounds, religious beliefs and lifestyles. The post-race awards ceremony would be followed by either a potluck or barbeque with a variety of foods from around the world.

A U.S. Coast Guard boat would be the honorary lead boat and the start would be a gun salute.
The winners would be given a choice of cash or shares in a hot pre-IPO company. The start, lined with swimmers proudly outfitted in their national colors, would be carefully segmented based on qualifications that were clearly identified in the entry application. Of course, any cheating on the course would be harshly dealt with.

The winners would be celebrated for their physical capabilities and loyalty to the sport and given a government-managed apartment as a reward.

The post-race party would only include locally grown produce and food products and everything would be recycled. Aggressive physical contact in races would not be tolerated and equal prize money for both male and female winners would be a de facto standard. Fund-raising opportunities would abound as would event affiliations with ecological and environmental groups.

All written in jest and all in good fun, but we wonder what the political open water swimming situation would be like in other countries.
Copyright © 2008 – 2010 by World Open Water Swimming Association
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