If Swimming Emojis Raced, Who Would Win The Men’s Olympic 10K Marathon Swim?

If Swimming Emojis Raced, Who Would Win The Men’s Olympic 10K Marathon Swim?

Courtesy of WOWSA, Huntington Beach, California.

Emojis are used globally and symbolize people swimming in a pool or in open bodies of water. While the prior versions of iOS on the iPhone lacked goggles, the currently used emojis are generally geared up as contemporary competitive swimmers are.

Emojis originated in Japan and were initially created by Softbank in 1997 for use in electronic messages and websites. Over the last decade, emojis became increasingly popular. 

I was thinking of another thought experiment where we considered what emoji swimmer would win the Tokyo Olympics 10 km marathon swim in Odaiba Marine Park,” pondered Steven Munatones.​

A description of the theoretical swimming emoji line-up in Tokyo Bay [shown above] is as follows:

  • Apple Andy has an excellent streamlined body position and a good finish of his stroke.  
  • Google Gerry looks strong and is great in rough water conditions and around turn buoys, but the flat water of Tokyo Bay is not his strength. 
  • Samsung Sergio is versatile swimmer, but his lower body but rides too low in the water and is not compensated by a strong kick. 
  • Microsoft Matthew is a little too stiff to be a threat in a human race. 
  • WhatsApp Will has a nice long stroke and will be in the lead pack towards the end. 
  • Twitter Tim is a popular and photogenic hunk, but without goggles, he gives away his non-competitive focus. 
  • Facebook Forrest has the speed and stamina to compete for a podium position with a nice streamlined stroke and flat body position and nice body rotation. 
  • JoyPixels Jacob will take it out fast, but the 10 km is a little bit out of his wheelhouse. 
  • OpenMoji Oliver without a swim cap and goggles is more a wild swimmer who enjoys Mother Nature rather than a competitive race.
  • DoCoMo Don gives it his all, but he has another quadrennial to develop world-class speed.
  • Mozilla Mike was happy to qualify for the Olympics, but his youth and inexperience are too much to overcome
  • Softbank Sam has just begun his conversion to an open water swimmer and his inexperience was exposed.

The RaceThe first 2.5 km lap of the Olympic 10K Marathon Swim was uneventful and the entire group swam cautiously and slowly in the warm water under high air temperatures and humid conditions.  The second lap was considerably faster.  By the halfway point, everyone but Microsoft Matthew, Twitter Tim, OpenMoji Oliver was still hanging on in the lead pack.

Apple Andy picked up the pace in the third lap with WhatsApp Will and Facebook Forrest drafting right behind him.  Samsung Sergio tried to join the group, but the pace was too fast for everyone but the top three.  The trio held a tight pack throughout the third lap until Facebook Forrest made a strong move to the front with 800 meters to go.  WhatsApp Will followed immediately after him and drafted off his right hip.  Apple Andy fell right in line and was tapping on the toes of WhatsApp as they started to round the final turn buoy.  

Facebook Forrest smacked into the last turn buoy and his goggles filled up, giving just enough of a chance for Apple Andy to catch him.  WhatsApp Will made a nice inside move, and nearly pulled alongside his Silicon Valley rivals.  The trio swam stroke-for-stroke with only 350 meters to go.  The sprint to the finish had begun.  WhatsApp Will was on the left, Facebook Forrest was sandwiched in the middle, and Apple Andy was cruising on the outside right.  They all three veered a little too far to the right and then readjusted when they entered the finish chute.  But this angle gave WhatsApp Will and Facebook Forrest the best straight-line tangent to the finish pads.   

They had 20 meters left and Facebook Forrest seemed to glide instantly into a slight lead.  He nearly missed the touch at the finish, but he came back with his rear hand to claim the Olympic gold medal.  Only a split second behind was WhatsApp Will followed by Apple Andy only a half body behind. 

  • Gold: Facebook Forrest
  • Silver: WhatsApp Will
  • Bronze: Apple Andy
  • 4th: ​JoyPixels Jacob
  • 5th: Samsung Sergio
  • 6th: Google Gerry
  • 7th: Twitter Tim
  • 8th: Microsoft Matthew
  • 9th: OpenMoji Oliver
  • 10th: DoCoMo Don 
  • 11th: Mozilla Mike 
  • 12th: Softbank Sam​

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Steven Munatones